Dorabella Cipher

Can you solve the following cipher? If you can, tell us because it has never been solved. This letter was written by Edward Elgar to Miss Dora Penny in 1897 and its meaning remains unknown to this day.

Lost Days

Great Britain and its colonies only had 354 days in 1752. This was because it adopted the Gregorian calendar this year.

Coincidence?

In the 1930s, street sweeper Joseph Figlock was walking down an alley when a baby fell from a window on the fourth floor of a building and landed on him. Both were injured but lived. One year later, the same baby fell from the same window and landed on Figlock again. Like before, both were injured but lived.

Austrian painter Joseph Matthäus Aigner attempted to hang himself at age 18. However, a mysterious Capuchin monk intervened and saved his life. Four years later, at age 22, Aigner attempted to hang himself again but the same Capuchin monk prevented him from doing so. At age 30 Aigner was sentenced to death because of his political views. Once again, the same Capuchin monk intervened and Aigner was able to walk away alive. He finally successfully committed suicide at age 68 with a pistol. The same Capuchin monk presided over his funeral. Aigner never learned his name.

"A Stammering Wife"

When deeply in love with Miss Emily Pryne,
I vowed if the lady would only be mine,
I would always be ready to please her;
She blushed her consent, though the stuttering lass
Said never a word except, "You're an ass--
An ass--an ass--iduous teazer!"

But when we were married, I found to my ruth
The stammering lady had spoken the truth ;
For often, in obvious dudgeon,
She'd say if I ventured to give her a jog
In the way of reproof, "You're a dog--dog--dog--
A dog--a dog--matic curmudgeon!"

And once, when I said, "We can hardly afford
This immoderate style with our moderate board,"
And hinted we ought to be wiser,
She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue,
And fretfully cried, "You're a Jew--Jew--Jew--
A very ju-dicious adviser!"

Again, when it happened that, wishing to shirk
Some rather unpleasant and arduous work,
I begged her to go to a neighbor,
She wanted to know why I made such a fuss,
And saucily said, "You're a cuss--cuss--cuss--
You were always ac--cus--tomed to labor!"

Out of temper at last with the insolent dame,
And feeling the woman was greatly to blame,
To scold me instead of caressing,
I mimicked her speech, like a churl as I am,
And angrily said, "You're a dam--dam--dam--
A dam--age instead of a blessing."

~Anonymous

Words of Wisdom

"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion."

~Francis Bacon, "Of Beauty"

First Photograph

This is the first permanent photograph ever taken. Discovered in 2002, this photograph was taken by Nicéphore Niépce in 1825. It depicts an engraving of a young boy leading a horse into a stable. It sold at auction for 450,000 euros.

"Jovanovichy"

'Twas potter, and the little brown
Did simon and schuster in the shaw;
All mosby were the ballantines,
And the womraths mcgraw.

Beware Jovanovich, my son!
The knopfs that crown, the platts that munk!
Beware the doubleday, and shun
The grolier wagnallfunk!

He took his putnam sword in hand,
Long time the harcourt brace he sought -
So rested he by the crowell tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in harper thought he stood,
Jovanovich, with eyes of flame,
Came houghton mifflin through the wood
And bowkered as it came!

Dodd mead! Dodd mead! and from his steed
His dutton sword went kennicatt!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went quadrangling back.

"And hast thou slain Jovanovich?
Come to my arms, my bantam boy!
Oh, stein and day! Giroux! McKay!"
He scribnered in his joy.

'Twas potter, and the little brown
Did simon and schuster in the shaw;
All mosby were the ballantines,
And the womraths mcgraw.

~Anonymous

Sidewalk Art

Here are some examples of Julian Beever's pavement drawings:

Rembrandts with Rembrandts


Politicians Meeting Their Ends


Make Poverty History


Batman and Robin


More of his great works can be found on his official website.

New Math

Here is some "New Math" by Craig Damrauer:











For more "New Math" go here.

Oh Snap!

"Giving and Taking"
'I never give a kiss,' says Prue,
'To naughty man, for I abhor it.'
She will not give a kiss, 'tis true:
She'll take one, though, and thank you for it.

~Thomas Moore

"To a Living Author"
Your comedy I've read, my friend,
And like the half you pilfered, best;
But sure the piece you yet may mend:
Take courage, man! and steal the rest.

~Anonymous

A Cryptogram

A young lady was supposed to go out to lunch with her friend. She waited for about an hour or so but her friend did not show up at her house. She then proceeded to pin the following note on her front door for her friend to see and went to eat lunch alone.



How does this message read? Here are a few hints to help you: 1) "G a" express a little message in French, 2) the numbers express how she feels in English, and 3) "PS." is a reference to her name.

Despite these hints this cryptogram is very difficult. However, it is clever and interesting. Enjoy.

Colors

In Winkelmann und sein Jahrhundert, Goethe states that the workers of mosaics in Rome use about 15,000 varieties of color. Furthermore, they can use 50 shades of each variety meaning that they roughly have 750,000 various colors at their disposal. Even so, the workers say this is not enough to create all the designs they want.

Difference between the English Poets

Here is what someone sees as the differences among the English poets:
"Chaucer describes men and things as they are ; Shakespeare, as they would be under the circumstances supposed ; Spenser, as we would wish them to be ; Milton, as they ought to be ; Byron, as they ought not to be; and Shelley, as they never can be."

Schott and Willing

Schott and Willing did engage
In duel fierce and hot;
Schott shot Willing willingly,
And Willing he shot Schott.

The shot Schott shot made Willing quite
A spectacle to see;
While Willing's willing shot went right
Through Schott's anatomy.

~Anonymous

Sleep

I slept 10 hours yesterday. I think I needed that, but it caused me to miss yesterday's post. Oh well, I guess it was worth it.

Happy Late Valentines Day everybody!

The Sand Reckoner

In the second century BC Archimedes of Syracuse estimated that it would take 10⁶³ grains of sand to completely fill up the known universe.

Curious Epitaphs

Found in a New England Graveyard:

Here lies John Auricular,
Who in the ways of the Lord walked perpendicular

On the tomb of an auctioneer at Greenwood:

Going, going, GONE !

On the tomb of Sir John Strange, a barrister:

Here lies an honest lawyer - that is Strange.

Found in Torrington churchyard, Devon:

She was - but words are wanting to say what.
Think what a woman should be - she was that.

Someone replied:

A woman should be both a wife and mother,
But Jenny Jones was neither one nor t'other.

Words of Wisdom

"Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect -- don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be."

~Ambrose Bierce

Do you agree or disagree?

Note: I don't always agree with every quote I post. I just aim to give you something to mull over, if only for a second.

The Clod and the Pebble

Here is a poem I really like, although I don't know why. Maybe I just like the idea of singing clay and warbling pebbles.

The Clod and the Pebble

"Love seeketh not Itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care;
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.

So sang a little Clod of Clay,
Trodden with the cattle's feet:
But a pebble of the brook,
Warbled out these metres meet.

Love seeketh only Self to please,
To bind another to Its delight:
Joys in another's loss of ease,
And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite."

~William Blake

Nothing is Indispensable

Here is a grook (a short aphoristic poem) to warn the universe against megalomania:

"The universe may
be as great as they say.
But it wouldn't be missed
if it didn't exist."

~Piet Hein

The Peccavi Pun

In the 19th century General Charles Napier of the British Army arrived at the province of Sindh, then a part of India but now part of Pakistan. Since this was a time of great and rapid British expansion in India, British leaders feared that they were over extending themselves and would thus be unable to effectively manage a territory as far north as Sindh. Napier was thus given direct orders to not capture Sindh. Napier, however, quickly noticed that there was very little resistance in the territory and so he decided to take it anyway, which he did with little trouble. After the capture, he is said to have reported the conquest by sending back a one-word message - "Peccavi" - which is Latin for "I have sinned." Peccavi here meant both "I have Sindh" and "I have sinned", since he took the province but at the same time disobeyed superior orders.

World's Funniest Joke

In 2002 Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire conducted an experiment to find the world's most appealing joke.

The top joke was:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

The second place joke was:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute.

“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."

“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

By country the funniest jokes were:
England and the UK - A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

U.S. - A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Canada - When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

Austria - This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….”

Belgium - Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Germany - A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That’s it.”

Emperor Norton I

There have been many great characters in history. The following is a brief account on one of my favorites.

Joshua Abraham Norton (c. 1819 – January 8, 1880), the self-proclaimed His Imperial Majesty Emperor Norton I, was a celebrated citizen of San Francisco, California, who in 1859 proclaimed himself "Emperor of these United States" and "Protector of Mexico." Born in London, Norton spent most of his early life in South Africa; he emigrated to San Francisco in 1849 after receiving a bequest of $40,000 from his father's estate. Norton initially made a living as a businessman, but he lost his fortune investing in Peruvian rice.

After losing a lawsuit in which he tried to void his rice contract, Norton left San Francisco. He returned a few years later, apparently mentally unbalanced, claiming to be the emperor of the United States. Although he had no political power, and his influence extended only so far as he was humored by those around him, he was treated deferentially in San Francisco, and currency issued in his name was honored in the establishments he frequented.

Though he was considered insane, or at least highly eccentric, the citizens of San Francisco celebrated his regal presence and his proclamations, most famously, his "order" that the United States Congress be dissolved by force (which Congress and the U.S. Army ignored) and his numerous decrees calling for a bridge and a tunnel to be built across San Francisco Bay. On January 8, 1880, Norton collapsed at a street corner, and died before he could be given medical treatment. The following day, nearly 30,000 people packed the streets of San Francisco to pay homage to Norton. The San Francisco Chronicle published his obituary on its front page under the headline "Le Roi est Mort" ("The King is Dead"). In a tone tinged with sadness, the article respectfully reported the following:

"On the reeking pavement, in the darkness of a moonless night under the dripping rain, and surrounded by a hastily gathered crowd of wondering strangers, Norton I, by the grace of God, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, departed this life. Other sovereigns have died with no more of kindly care--other sovereigns have died as they have lived with all the pomp of earthly majesty, but death having touched them, Norton I rises up the exact peer of the haughtiest King or Kaiser that ever wore a crown. Perhaps he will rise more than the peer of most of them. He had a better claim to kindly consideration than that his lot 'forbade to wade through slaughter to a throne and shut the gates of mercy on mankind.' Through his harmless proclamations can always be traced an innate gentleness of heat, a desire to effect uses and a courtesy, the possession of which would materially improve the bitterful living princes whose names will naturally suggest themselves."

This information is taken from Emperor Norton's wikipedia page. For more information please go here, here, and here. His complete obituary is here.

Brevity

A Mr. McNair once wrote to his nephew the following letter:
Dear Nephew,
;

The nephew replied with this:
Dear Uncle,
:

The uncle meant "See my coal on" (See to it that my coal is shipped), which was expressed by a se-mi-col-on, to which the nephew responded "Coal on" (Coal shipped), expressed by col-on.

Toxic Lady

About 8:15 in the evening on February 19, 1994, Gloria Ramirez was brought into the emergency room by paramedics, suffering from the effects of advanced cervical cancer. She was extremely confused, and suffering from bradycardia and Cheyne-Stokes respiration.

The medical staff injected her with Valium, Versed, and Ativan to sedate her, and agents such as lidocaine to stimulate her heartbeat. When it became clear that Ramirez was responding poorly to treatment, the staff tried to defibrillate her heart with electricity; at that point several people saw an oily sheen covering Ramirez’s body, and some noticed a fruity, garlicky odor that they thought was coming from her mouth. A registered nurse named Susan Kane attempted to draw blood from Ramirez's arm, and noticed an ammonia like smell coming from the tube.

She passed the syringe to Julie Gorchynski, a medical resident who noticed manila-colored particles floating in the blood. At this point, Susan Kane fainted and was removed from the room. Shortly thereafter, Dr. Gorchynski began to feel nauseated . Complaining that she was light-headed, she left the trauma room and sat at a nurse’s desk. A staff member asked Gorchynski if she was okay, but before she could respond she also fainted. Maureen Welch, a respiratory therapist who was assisting in the trauma room was the third to pass out. The staff was then ordered to evacuate all emergency room patients to the parking lot outside the hospital. A skeleton crew stayed behind to stabilize Ramirez. At 8:50, after forty five minutes of CPR and defibrillation, Gloria Ramirez was pronounced dead from kidney failure related to her cancer.

Two months after Ramirez died, her badly decomposed body was released for an independent autopsy and burial. The Riverside Coroner's Office hailed Livermore's DMSO conclusion as the probable cause of the hospital workers' symptoms, while her family disagreed. The Ramirez family's pathologist was unable to determine a cause of death because her heart was missing, her other organs were cross-contaminated with fecal matter, and her body was too badly decomposed. Ten weeks after she died, Ramirez was buried in an unmarked grave at Olivewood Cemetery.

For more information go here, here, and here.


--Edited by Weber

McDonald's Theory of War

In a 1996 New York Times article economist Thomas L. Friedman first stated the following popular fact: "no two countries that both have a McDonald's have ever fought a war against each other."

This is not true. The following pairs of countries both have a McDonald's and have gone to war, thus breaking this theory: Georgia and Russia and Israel and Lebanon. There might be more.

Проснись

Here are some great examples of photo manipulations by LiveJournal user tebe_interesno.











For more amazing examples of his work go here.

Words of Wisdom

"The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think."

~Horace Walpole


"It has been said that for those who 'feel', life is a tragedy and for those who 'think', it is a comedy. There is no need to live only half a life. For those who both think and feel, life is an adventure."

~Theodore Zeldin

Archimedes' Cattle Problem

This problem, which Archimedes sent to the mathematicians of Alexandria to investigate, involves computing the number of cattle in a herd of the sun god from a given set of restrictions. It was originally stated in the form of a 44 line poem in Greek. The following is an English translation:

"If thou art diligent and wise, O stranger, compute the number of cattle of the Sun, who once upon a time grazed on the fields of the Thrinacian isle of Sicily, divided into four herds of different colours, one milk white, another a glossy black, a third yellow and the last dappled. In each herd were bulls, mighty in number according to these proportions: Understand, stranger, that the white bulls were equal to a half and a third of the black together with the whole of the yellow, while the black were equal to the fourth part of the dappled and a fifth, together with, once more, the whole of the yellow. Observe further that the remaining bulls, the dappled, were equal to a sixth part of the white and a seventh, together with all of the yellow. These were the proportions of the cows: The white were precisely equal to the third part and a fourth of the whole herd of the black; while the black were equal to the fourth part once more of the dappled and with it a fifth part, when all, including the bulls, went to pasture together. Now the dappled in four parts were equal in number to a fifth part and a sixth of the yellow herd. Finally the yellow were in number equal to a sixth part and a seventh of the white herd. If thou canst accurately tell, O stranger, the number of cattle of the Sun, giving separately the number of well-fed bulls and again the number of females according to each colour, thou wouldst not be called unskilled or ignorant of numbers, but not yet shalt thou be numbered among the wise.

But come, understand also all these conditions regarding the cattle of the Sun. When the white bulls mingled their number with the black, they stood firm, equal in depth and breadth, and the plains of Thrinacia, stretching far in all ways, were filled with their multitude. Again, when the yellow and the dappled bulls were gathered into one herd they stood in such a manner that their number, beginning from one, grew slowly greater till it completed a triangular figure, there being no bulls of other colours in their midst nor none of them lacking. If thou art able, O stranger, to find out all these things and gather them together in your mind, giving all the relations, thou shalt depart crowned with glory and knowing that thou hast been adjudged perfect in this species of wisdom."

Can you solve the first part and thereby "not be called unskilled or ignorant of numbers"?

Can you solve the second part and thereby "depart crowned with glory and knowing that thou hast been adjudged perfect in this species of wisdom"?

[Note: Part 1 is definitely doable. Part 2 is considerably more difficult.]