The Qinceton Quacket

Wods of Wisdom

2010-01-25T01:58:00.000-05:00

“Age is a high price to pay for maturity.”

~Tom Stoppard

Apologies

2010-01-18T17:27:00.002-05:00

I apologize yet again for not updating this blog in months. I will resuscitate it as best I can, with the hope that it will be better than before. Wish me luck.

~Armando

Killing An Hour

2009-09-11T20:48:00.002-04:00

"Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought, but carefully: a premeditated murder of minutes. The violence comes from a combination of giving up, not caring, and a resignation that getting past it is all you can hope to accomplish. So you kill the hour. You do not work, you do not read, you do not daydream. If you sleep it is not because you need to sleep. And when at last it is over, there is no evidence: no weapon, no blood, and no body. The only clue might be the shadows beneath your eyes or a terribly thin line near the corner of your mouth indicating something has been suffered, that in the privacy of your life you have lost something and the loss is too empty to share."

~Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves (2000)

Words of Wisdom

2009-09-07T17:37:00.001-04:00

"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns. He should be drawn and quoted."

~Fred Allen

Fire Underground

2009-09-05T00:02:00.004-04:00

A fire has been burning under the town of Centralia, Pennsylvania since 1962. As of 2007 the population is estimated at 7.

Read more at Centralia's wikipedia entry.

Light Graffiti

2009-09-02T23:57:00.002-04:00

Here are some incredible examples of light graffiti.

From here.

A Riddle

2009-08-11T23:41:00.004-04:00

Short was my life, and brilliant my career;
Behead me, I in lovely green appear;
Behead again, I once was made to save
My chosen inmates from a watery grave.

What am I?

"Of Love and Apples"

2009-08-05T21:53:00.003-04:00

Metaphors and Similes

2009-07-27T21:40:00.002-04:00

Here are some hilariously awful metaphors and similes:

1) His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

2) He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

3) She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

4) She had a deep throaty genuine laugh like that sound a dog makes just before he throws up.

5) Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like, whatever.

6) He was a tall as a six foot three inch tree.

7) The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM.

8) The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

9) McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

10) From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 PM instead of 7:30.

11) Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

12) The hailstones leaped up off the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

13) Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 P.M.traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 P.M. at a speed of 35 mph.

14) They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resemble Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

15) John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

16) He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the east river.

17) Even in his last years, grand pappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

18) Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

19) The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

20) Young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

21) He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

22) The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

23) It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with power tools.

24) He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

25) She was as easy as the TV guide crossword.

26) Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

27) She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

28) Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening.

29) It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

30) Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.

The Kelly-Hopkinsville encounter

2009-07-22T00:10:00.003-04:00

The Kelly-Hopkinsville encounter, also known as the Hopkin Green Men case, is an alleged close encounter with supposed aliens and one of the most well-known and well-documented cases in the history of UFO incidents, and a favourite for study in ufology. The incidents began on the evening of August 21, 1955 and continued through to the dawn of the next morning. The incident occurred mostly around a rural farmhouse at the time belonging to the Sutton family, which was located near the small town of Kelly and the small city of Hopkinsville, both in Christian County, Kentucky, United States. Witnesses include policemen and state troopers, and the incidents were taken seriously enough as to be officially investigated by the United States Air Force.

There were dozens of eyewitnesses to the incidents, which included two families present at the farmhouse and others in the area, including policemen and a state trooper who saw strange phenomena such as unexplained lights in the night sky and noises the same night. The seven people present in the farmhouse would claim that they were terrorized by an unknown number of creatures similar to gremlins, which have since often been referred to as the "Hopkinsville Goblins" in popular culture. The residents of the farmhouse described them as around three feet tall, with upright pointed ears, thin limbs (their legs were said to be almost in a state of atrophy), long arms and claw-like hands or talons. The creatures were either silvery in color, or wearing something metallic. Their movements on occasion seemed to defy gravity with them floating above the ground and appearing in high up places, and they "walked" with a swaying motion as through wading through water. Although the creatures never entered the house, they would pop up at windows and at the doorway, working up the children in the house to a hysterical frenzy. The families fled the farmhouse in the middle of the night to the local police station and sheriff Russell Greenwell noted they were visibly shaken. The familes returned to the farmhouse with Sheriff Greenwell and twenty officers, yet the occurances continued. Police saw evidence of the struggle and damage to the house, as well as themselves seeing strange lights and hearing noises. The witnesses additionally claimed to have used firearms to shoot at the creatures, with little or no effect, and the house and surrounding grounds were extensively damaged during the incident.

Even years later the eyewitness stories still collaborated remarkably under individual questioning, although speculation amongst the eyewitnesses regarding the motivations of the creatures has ranged from field study on their part, or that the creatures were acting out of mere curiousity or even outright malevolence. The two families involved were noted locally to not be the types to make up a hoax, and this would be seemingly backed up by the fact the families obtained no financial gain or significant fame from the incident, and fled the area when the incident became known locally and they gained an abundance of tresspassers wanting to see the site.

UFO researcher Allan Hendry wrote "[t]his case is distinguished by its duration and also by the number of witnesses involved." Jerome Clark writes that "[i]nvestigations by police, Air Force officers from nearby Fort Campbell, and civilian ufologists found no evidence of a hoax". Although they never formally investigated the case, Blue Book confessed to being stumped. So was Isabel Davis, one of the most hardheaded of UFO investigators.

Here is the wikipedia article where this information was taken from. A detailed account can also be found there.

Words of Wisdom

2009-07-19T23:58:00.002-04:00

"The farce is finished. I go to seek a vast perhaps."

~François Rabelais

"Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche"

2009-07-14T22:27:00.001-04:00

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.

Escribir, por ejemplo: 'La noche está estrellada,
y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos.'

El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.

En las noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.

Ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
Cómo no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.

Oir la noche inmensa, más inmnesa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocío.

Qué importa que mi amor no pudiera guadarla.
La noche está estrellada y ella no está conmigo.

Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazón la busca, y ella no está conmigo.

La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oído.

De otro. Será de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.

Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,
mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Aunque éste sea el último dolor que ella me causa,
y éstos sean los últimos versos que yo le escribo.

~Pablo Neruda

Hand Embroidered Note

2009-07-13T23:20:00.003-04:00

Aside: If only I could do something this sweet...

Gargoyles

2009-07-10T22:11:00.003-04:00

Contrary to popular belief, gargoyles were added to churches and buildings to serve as drain pipes, not to keep evil spirits away.

[Note: I apologize for this confusing and ill-written post.]

Book Art

2009-07-08T23:16:00.000-04:00

Words of Wisdom

2009-07-07T23:06:00.001-04:00

"I want to know the truth, however perverted that may sound."

~Stephen Wolfram

Clams and Art History Majors

2009-07-06T22:24:00.004-04:00

(From here.)

(From here.)

"Belief and Technique for Modern Prose"

2009-07-05T22:20:00.003-04:00

Here are some tips on how to write like Jack Kerouac, courtesy of Mr. Kerouac.

Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your own joy
Submissive to everything, open, listening
Try never get drunk outside your own house
Be in love with your life
Something that you feel will find its own form
Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
Blow as deep as you want to blow
Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
The unspeakable visions of the individual
No time for poetry but exactly what is
Visionary tics shivering in the chest
In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
Like Proust be an old teahead of time
Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
Accept loss forever
Believe in the holy contour of life
Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better
Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
You're a Genius all the time
Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven

Back to Rock This Party!

2009-07-05T21:41:00.004-04:00

I apologize for not posting in a while. I have been busy with some things. I am back. I hope you enjoy the posts.

~Armando

"I saw a duck."

2009-05-13T00:10:00.002-04:00

I saw a duck.
A plain, white duck.
It stared back at me.
I asked it what it was like to fly.
It replied, "quack,"
Which I can only assume means "great."
And it probably assumed that my words meant, "quack."
I will never forget that duck.
Ever.

~Nathan Ferguson

Written on the City

2009-05-11T00:03:00.003-04:00

~Anonymous

An Encounter

2009-05-09T00:23:00.003-04:00

"My voice had an accent of forced bravery in it and I was ashamed of my paltry stratagem. I had to call the name again before Mahony saw me and hallooed in answer. How my heart beat as he came running across the field to me! He ran as if to bring me aid. And I was penitent; for in my heart I had always despised him a little."

~James Joyce, Dubliners (1914)

Words of Wisdom

2009-05-05T01:04:00.002-04:00

"To all who come to this happy place; welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here age relives fond memories of the past...and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams and the hard facts that have created America...with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world."

~Walt Disney

"I Sang"

2009-04-28T19:04:00.003-04:00

I SANG to you and the moon
But only the moon remembers.
I sang
O reckless free-hearted
free-throated rhythms,
Even the moon remembers them
And is kind to me.

~Carl Sandburg

Words of Wisdom

2009-04-28T18:21:00.002-04:00

"This race and this country and this life produced me, he said. I shall express myself as I am."

~James Joyce, Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

An Epistemological Nightmare

2009-03-21T19:59:00.002-04:00

(by Raymond M. Smullyan, 1982)

"Scene 1

Frank is in the office of an eye doctor. The doctor holds up a book and asks "What color is it?" Frank answers, "Red." The doctor says, "Aha, just as I thought! Your whole color mechanism has gone out of kilter. But fortunately your condition is curable, and I will have you in perfect shape in a couple of weeks."

Scene 2

(A few weeks later.) Frank is in a laboratory in the home of an experimental epistemologist. (You will soon find out what that means!) The epistemologist holds up a book and also asks, "What color is this book?" Now, Frank has been earlier dismissed by the eye doctor as "cured." However, he is now of a very analytical and cautious temperament, and will not make any statement that can possibly be refuted. So Frank answers, "It seems red to me."

Epistemologist:
Wrong!

Frank:
I don't think you heard what I said. I merely said that it seems red to me.

Epistemologist:
I heard you, and you were wrong.

Frank:
Let me get this clear; did you mean that I was wrong that this book is red, or that I was wrong that it seems red to me?

Epistemologist:
I obviously couldn't have meant that you were wrong in that it is red, since you did not say that it is red. All you said was that it seems red to you, and it is this statement which is wrong.

Frank:
But you can't say that the statement "It seems red to me" is wrong.

Epistemologist:
If I can't say it, how come I did?

Frank:
I mean you can't mean it.

Epistemologist:
Why not?

Frank:
But surely I know what color the book seems to me!

Epistemologist:
Again you are wrong."

Read the rest here.

Pencil Drawings

2009-03-19T21:19:00.005-04:00

The following were drawn by pencil. The artists are unknown.

There are more examples here.

Can't Sleep

2009-03-17T20:56:00.002-04:00

The Solway Firth Photo

2009-03-17T19:53:00.002-04:00

"On 24th May 1964, Jim Templeton, a fireman from Carlisle in the North of England, took his young daughter out to the marches overlooking the Solway Firth to take some photographs. Nothing untoward happened, although both he and his wife noticed an unusual aura in the atmosphere.

There was a kind of electric charge in the air, though no storm came. Even nearby cows seemed upset by it.

Some days later Mr Templeton got his photographs processed by the chemist, who said that it was a pity that the man who had walked past had spoilt the best shot of Elizabeth holding a bunch of flowers. Jim was puzzled. There had been nobody else on the marshes nearby at the time.

But sure enough, on the picture in question there was a figure in a silvery white space suit projecting at an odd angle into the air behind the girl's back, as if an unwanted snooper had wrecked the shot.

The case was reported to the police and taken up by Kodak, the film manufacturers, who offered free film for life to anyone who could solve the mystery when their experts failed.

It was not, as the police at first guessed, a simple double exposure with one negative accidentally printed on top of another during processing. It was, as Chief Superintendent Oldcorn quickly concluded, just "one of those things... a freak picture."

A few weeks later Jim Templeton received two mysterious visitors. He had never heard of MIBs: the subject was almost unknown in Britain then. But the two men who came to his house in a large Jaguar car wore dark suits and otherwise looked normal. The weird thing about them was their behavior.

They only referred to one another by numbers and asked the most unusual questions as they drove Jim out to the marshes. They wanted to know in minute detail about the weather on the day of the photograph, the activities of local bird life and odd asides like that.

Then they tried to make him admit that he had just photographed an ordinary man walking past. Jim responded politely, but nevertheless rejected their idea, at which they became irrationally angry and hustled themselves into the car, driving off and leaving him. The fire officer had to hike five miles across country to get home."

This is taken from here. More information here.

Words of Wisdom

2009-03-07T23:20:00.001-05:00

"It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god."

~Seneca

Elementary Geometry

2009-03-06T23:55:00.004-05:00

Using only elementary geometry, find the measure of angle x.

This problem is harder than it looks.

Olive You

2009-03-05T23:04:00.003-05:00

I really like this greeting card.

This and other cards can be found here.

The Hokey Poke

2009-03-04T23:21:00.002-05:00

The Washington Post asked readers to submit instructions for anything, but written in the style of a famous person. The following instructions on how to do the Hokey Pokey won the competition.

"O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about."

~William Shakespeare

Written by Jeff Brechlin, Potomac Falls, Maryland, and submitted by Katherine St. John.

Happy Cloud

2009-03-04T22:50:00.006-05:00

UK artist Stuart Semple released over 2000 smiley faces over London's financial district and Tate Modern. When asked why he did this he answered: "I just wanted to make a piece of work that would cheer people up a bit." Learn more about "Happy Cloud" here. You might also want to check out some of his other works.

Epitaph of a Miss Nott

2009-03-02T22:24:00.002-05:00

"Nott born, Nott dead, Nott christened, Nott begot;
So here she lies that was and that was Nott.
Reader behold a wonder rarely wrought,
Which while thou seem'st to read thou readest Nott."

A Graceful Compliment

2009-03-02T21:45:00.005-05:00

"Among the charming women who, in 1784, adorned the Court of Charlotte of Mecklenburg Strelitz (or, more properly to speak, the English capital for scarcely could that queen be said to have any court), might well be accounted Lady Payne, afterward Lady Lavington. Her person and manners were full of winning grace. At her house, in Grafton Street, the politicians of her day frequently met; and Erskine having once dined there, found himself so indisposed as to be obliged to retire after dinner to another apartment. Lady Payne, who was incessant in her attentions to him, inquired when he returned to the company, how he found himself. Erskine took out a bit of paper and wrote on it:

'Tis true I am ill, but I cannot complain,
For he never knew Pleasure who never knew Payne.'"

~The American Magazine (1883)

Dorabella Cipher

2009-02-28T03:33:00.003-05:00

Can you solve the following cipher? If you can, tell us because it has never been solved. This letter was written by Edward Elgar to Miss Dora Penny in 1897 and its meaning remains unknown to this day.

Lost Days

2009-02-28T03:23:00.002-05:00

Great Britain and its colonies only had 354 days in 1752. This was because it adopted the Gregorian calendar this year.

Coincidence?

2009-02-26T22:13:00.005-05:00

In the 1930s, street sweeper Joseph Figlock was walking down an alley when a baby fell from a window on the fourth floor of a building and landed on him. Both were injured but lived. One year later, the same baby fell from the same window and landed on Figlock again. Like before, both were injured but lived.

Austrian painter Joseph Matthäus Aigner attempted to hang himself at age 18. However, a mysterious Capuchin monk intervened and saved his life. Four years later, at age 22, Aigner attempted to hang himself again but the same Capuchin monk prevented him from doing so. At age 30 Aigner was sentenced to death because of his political views. Once again, the same Capuchin monk intervened and Aigner was able to walk away alive. He finally successfully committed suicide at age 68 with a pistol. The same Capuchin monk presided over his funeral. Aigner never learned his name.

"A Stammering Wife"

2009-02-25T21:59:00.006-05:00

When deeply in love with Miss Emily Pryne,
I vowed if the lady would only be mine,
I would always be ready to please her;
She blushed her consent, though the stuttering lass
Said never a word except, "You're an ass--
An ass--an ass--iduous teazer!"

But when we were married, I found to my ruth
The stammering lady had spoken the truth ;
For often, in obvious dudgeon,
She'd say if I ventured to give her a jog
In the way of reproof, "You're a dog--dog--dog--
A dog--a dog--matic curmudgeon!"

And once, when I said, "We can hardly afford
This immoderate style with our moderate board,"
And hinted we ought to be wiser,
She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue,
And fretfully cried, "You're a Jew--Jew--Jew--
A very ju-dicious adviser!"

Again, when it happened that, wishing to shirk
Some rather unpleasant and arduous work,
I begged her to go to a neighbor,
She wanted to know why I made such a fuss,
And saucily said, "You're a cuss--cuss--cuss--
You were always ac--cus--tomed to labor!"

Out of temper at last with the insolent dame,
And feeling the woman was greatly to blame,
To scold me instead of caressing,
I mimicked her speech, like a churl as I am,
And angrily said, "You're a dam--dam--dam--
A dam--age instead of a blessing."

~Anonymous

Words of Wisdom

2009-02-24T23:23:00.006-05:00

"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion."

~Francis Bacon, "Of Beauty"

First Photograph

2009-02-23T20:32:00.003-05:00

This is the first permanent photograph ever taken. Discovered in 2002, this photograph was taken by Nicéphore Niépce in 1825. It depicts an engraving of a young boy leading a horse into a stable. It sold at auction for 450,000 euros.

"Jovanovichy"

2009-02-22T21:47:00.004-05:00

'Twas potter, and the little brown
Did simon and schuster in the shaw;
All mosby were the ballantines,
And the womraths mcgraw.

Beware Jovanovich, my son!
The knopfs that crown, the platts that munk!
Beware the doubleday, and shun
The grolier wagnallfunk!

He took his putnam sword in hand,
Long time the harcourt brace he sought -
So rested he by the crowell tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in harper thought he stood,
Jovanovich, with eyes of flame,
Came houghton mifflin through the wood
And bowkered as it came!

Dodd mead! Dodd mead! and from his steed
His dutton sword went kennicatt!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went quadrangling back.

"And hast thou slain Jovanovich?
Come to my arms, my bantam boy!
Oh, stein and day! Giroux! McKay!"
He scribnered in his joy.

'Twas potter, and the little brown
Did simon and schuster in the shaw;
All mosby were the ballantines,
And the womraths mcgraw.

~Anonymous

Sidewalk Art

2009-02-21T22:06:00.004-05:00

Here are some examples of Julian Beever's pavement drawings:

Rembrandts with Rembrandts

Politicians Meeting Their Ends

Make Poverty History

Batman and Robin

More of his great works can be found on his official website.

New Math

2009-02-20T20:37:00.004-05:00

Here is some "New Math" by Craig Damrauer:

For more "New Math" go here.

Oh Snap!

2009-02-19T23:38:00.008-05:00

"Giving and Taking"
'I never give a kiss,' says Prue,
'To naughty man, for I abhor it.'
She will not give a kiss, 'tis true:
She'll take one, though, and thank you for it.

~Thomas Moore

"To a Living Author"
Your comedy I've read, my friend,
And like the half you pilfered, best;
But sure the piece you yet may mend:
Take courage, man! and steal the rest.

~Anonymous

A Cryptogram

2009-02-18T21:41:00.003-05:00

A young lady was supposed to go out to lunch with her friend. She waited for about an hour or so but her friend did not show up at her house. She then proceeded to pin the following note on her front door for her friend to see and went to eat lunch alone.

How does this message read? Here are a few hints to help you: 1) "G a" express a little message in French, 2) the numbers express how she feels in English, and 3) "PS." is a reference to her name.

Despite these hints this cryptogram is very difficult. However, it is clever and interesting. Enjoy.

Colors

2009-02-17T00:24:00.004-05:00

In Winkelmann und sein Jahrhundert, Goethe states that the workers of mosaics in Rome use about 15,000 varieties of color. Furthermore, they can use 50 shades of each variety meaning that they roughly have 750,000 various colors at their disposal. Even so, the workers say this is not enough to create all the designs they want.

Difference between the English Poets

2009-02-17T00:15:00.003-05:00

Here is what someone sees as the differences among the English poets:
"Chaucer describes men and things as they are ; Shakespeare, as they would be under the circumstances supposed ; Spenser, as we would wish them to be ; Milton, as they ought to be ; Byron, as they ought not to be; and Shelley, as they never can be."

Schott and Willing

2009-02-15T03:56:00.003-05:00

Schott and Willing did engage
In duel fierce and hot;
Schott shot Willing willingly,
And Willing he shot Schott.

The shot Schott shot made Willing quite
A spectacle to see;
While Willing's willing shot went right
Through Schott's anatomy.

~Anonymous

Sleep

2009-02-15T02:20:00.003-05:00

I slept 10 hours yesterday. I think I needed that, but it caused me to miss yesterday's post. Oh well, I guess it was worth it.

Happy Late Valentines Day everybody!

The Sand Reckoner

2009-02-13T22:03:00.004-05:00

In the second century BC Archimedes of Syracuse estimated that it would take 10⁶³ grains of sand to completely fill up the known universe.

Curious Epitaphs

2009-02-12T20:54:00.004-05:00

Found in a New England Graveyard:

Here lies John Auricular,
Who in the ways of the Lord walked perpendicular

On the tomb of an auctioneer at Greenwood:

Going, going, GONE !

On the tomb of Sir John Strange, a barrister:

Here lies an honest lawyer - that is Strange.

Found in Torrington churchyard, Devon:

She was - but words are wanting to say what.
Think what a woman should be - she was that.

Someone replied:

A woman should be both a wife and mother,
But Jenny Jones was neither one nor t'other.

Words of Wisdom

2009-02-11T23:55:00.005-05:00

"Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect -- don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be."

~Ambrose Bierce

Do you agree or disagree?

Note: I don't always agree with every quote I post. I just aim to give you something to mull over, if only for a second.

The Clod and the Pebble

2009-02-11T23:48:00.005-05:00

Here is a poem I really like, although I don't know why. Maybe I just like the idea of singing clay and warbling pebbles.

The Clod and the Pebble

"Love seeketh not Itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care;
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.

So sang a little Clod of Clay,
Trodden with the cattle's feet:
But a pebble of the brook,
Warbled out these metres meet.

Love seeketh only Self to please,
To bind another to Its delight:
Joys in another's loss of ease,
And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite."

~William Blake

Nothing is Indispensable

2009-02-10T21:09:00.003-05:00

Here is a grook (a short aphoristic poem) to warn the universe against megalomania:

"The universe may
be as great as they say.
But it wouldn't be missed
if it didn't exist."

~Piet Hein

The Peccavi Pun

2009-02-09T20:21:00.005-05:00

In the 19th century General Charles Napier of the British Army arrived at the province of Sindh, then a part of India but now part of Pakistan. Since this was a time of great and rapid British expansion in India, British leaders feared that they were over extending themselves and would thus be unable to effectively manage a territory as far north as Sindh. Napier was thus given direct orders to not capture Sindh. Napier, however, quickly noticed that there was very little resistance in the territory and so he decided to take it anyway, which he did with little trouble. After the capture, he is said to have reported the conquest by sending back a one-word message - "Peccavi" - which is Latin for "I have sinned." Peccavi here meant both "I have Sindh" and "I have sinned", since he took the province but at the same time disobeyed superior orders.

World's Funniest Joke

2009-02-08T21:03:00.005-05:00

In 2002 Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire conducted an experiment to find the world's most appealing joke.

The top joke was:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

The second place joke was:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute.

“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."

“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

By country the funniest jokes were:
England and the UK - A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

U.S. - A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Canada - When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

Austria - This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….”

Belgium - Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Germany - A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That’s it.”

Emperor Norton I

2009-02-07T22:12:00.002-05:00

There have been many great characters in history. The following is a brief account on one of my favorites.

Joshua Abraham Norton (c. 1819 – January 8, 1880), the self-proclaimed His Imperial Majesty Emperor Norton I, was a celebrated citizen of San Francisco, California, who in 1859 proclaimed himself "Emperor of these United States" and "Protector of Mexico." Born in London, Norton spent most of his early life in South Africa; he emigrated to San Francisco in 1849 after receiving a bequest of $40,000 from his father's estate. Norton initially made a living as a businessman, but he lost his fortune investing in Peruvian rice.

After losing a lawsuit in which he tried to void his rice contract, Norton left San Francisco. He returned a few years later, apparently mentally unbalanced, claiming to be the emperor of the United States. Although he had no political power, and his influence extended only so far as he was humored by those around him, he was treated deferentially in San Francisco, and currency issued in his name was honored in the establishments he frequented.

Though he was considered insane, or at least highly eccentric, the citizens of San Francisco celebrated his regal presence and his proclamations, most famously, his "order" that the United States Congress be dissolved by force (which Congress and the U.S. Army ignored) and his numerous decrees calling for a bridge and a tunnel to be built across San Francisco Bay. On January 8, 1880, Norton collapsed at a street corner, and died before he could be given medical treatment. The following day, nearly 30,000 people packed the streets of San Francisco to pay homage to Norton. The San Francisco Chronicle published his obituary on its front page under the headline "Le Roi est Mort" ("The King is Dead"). In a tone tinged with sadness, the article respectfully reported the following:

"On the reeking pavement, in the darkness of a moonless night under the dripping rain, and surrounded by a hastily gathered crowd of wondering strangers, Norton I, by the grace of God, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, departed this life. Other sovereigns have died with no more of kindly care--other sovereigns have died as they have lived with all the pomp of earthly majesty, but death having touched them, Norton I rises up the exact peer of the haughtiest King or Kaiser that ever wore a crown. Perhaps he will rise more than the peer of most of them. He had a better claim to kindly consideration than that his lot 'forbade to wade through slaughter to a throne and shut the gates of mercy on mankind.' Through his harmless proclamations can always be traced an innate gentleness of heat, a desire to effect uses and a courtesy, the possession of which would materially improve the bitterful living princes whose names will naturally suggest themselves."

This information is taken from Emperor Norton's wikipedia page. For more information please go here, here, and here. His complete obituary is here.

Brevity

2009-02-06T21:33:00.006-05:00

A Mr. McNair once wrote to his nephew the following letter:
Dear Nephew,
;

The nephew replied with this:
Dear Uncle,
:

The uncle meant "See my coal on" (See to it that my coal is shipped), which was expressed by a se-mi-col-on, to which the nephew responded "Coal on" (Coal shipped), expressed by col-on.

Toxic Lady

2009-02-05T19:51:00.012-05:00

About 8:15 in the evening on February 19, 1994, Gloria Ramirez was brought into the emergency room by paramedics, suffering from the effects of advanced cervical cancer. She was extremely confused, and suffering from bradycardia and Cheyne-Stokes respiration.

The medical staff injected her with Valium, Versed, and Ativan to sedate her, and agents such as lidocaine to stimulate her heartbeat. When it became clear that Ramirez was responding poorly to treatment, the staff tried to defibrillate her heart with electricity; at that point several people saw an oily sheen covering Ramirez’s body, and some noticed a fruity, garlicky odor that they thought was coming from her mouth. A registered nurse named Susan Kane attempted to draw blood from Ramirez's arm, and noticed an ammonia like smell coming from the tube.

She passed the syringe to Julie Gorchynski, a medical resident who noticed manila-colored particles floating in the blood. At this point, Susan Kane fainted and was removed from the room. Shortly thereafter, Dr. Gorchynski began to feel nauseated . Complaining that she was light-headed, she left the trauma room and sat at a nurse’s desk. A staff member asked Gorchynski if she was okay, but before she could respond she also fainted. Maureen Welch, a respiratory therapist who was assisting in the trauma room was the third to pass out. The staff was then ordered to evacuate all emergency room patients to the parking lot outside the hospital. A skeleton crew stayed behind to stabilize Ramirez. At 8:50, after forty five minutes of CPR and defibrillation, Gloria Ramirez was pronounced dead from kidney failure related to her cancer.

Two months after Ramirez died, her badly decomposed body was released for an independent autopsy and burial. The Riverside Coroner's Office hailed Livermore's DMSO conclusion as the probable cause of the hospital workers' symptoms, while her family disagreed. The Ramirez family's pathologist was unable to determine a cause of death because her heart was missing, her other organs were cross-contaminated with fecal matter, and her body was too badly decomposed. Ten weeks after she died, Ramirez was buried in an unmarked grave at Olivewood Cemetery.

For more information go here, here, and here.

--Edited by Weber

McDonald's Theory of War

2009-02-04T21:44:00.003-05:00

In a 1996 New York Times article economist Thomas L. Friedman first stated the following popular fact: "no two countries that both have a McDonald's have ever fought a war against each other."

This is not true. The following pairs of countries both have a McDonald's and have gone to war, thus breaking this theory: Georgia and Russia and Israel and Lebanon. There might be more.

Проснись

2009-02-03T21:08:00.004-05:00

Here are some great examples of photo manipulations by LiveJournal user tebe_interesno.

For more amazing examples of his work go here.

Words of Wisdom

2009-02-02T20:39:00.004-05:00

"The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think."

~Horace Walpole

"It has been said that for those who 'feel', life is a tragedy and for those who 'think', it is a comedy. There is no need to live only half a life. For those who both think and feel, life is an adventure."

~Theodore Zeldin

Archimedes' Cattle Problem

2009-02-01T14:29:00.003-05:00

This problem, which Archimedes sent to the mathematicians of Alexandria to investigate, involves computing the number of cattle in a herd of the sun god from a given set of restrictions. It was originally stated in the form of a 44 line poem in Greek. The following is an English translation:

"If thou art diligent and wise, O stranger, compute the number of cattle of the Sun, who once upon a time grazed on the fields of the Thrinacian isle of Sicily, divided into four herds of different colours, one milk white, another a glossy black, a third yellow and the last dappled. In each herd were bulls, mighty in number according to these proportions: Understand, stranger, that the white bulls were equal to a half and a third of the black together with the whole of the yellow, while the black were equal to the fourth part of the dappled and a fifth, together with, once more, the whole of the yellow. Observe further that the remaining bulls, the dappled, were equal to a sixth part of the white and a seventh, together with all of the yellow. These were the proportions of the cows: The white were precisely equal to the third part and a fourth of the whole herd of the black; while the black were equal to the fourth part once more of the dappled and with it a fifth part, when all, including the bulls, went to pasture together. Now the dappled in four parts were equal in number to a fifth part and a sixth of the yellow herd. Finally the yellow were in number equal to a sixth part and a seventh of the white herd. If thou canst accurately tell, O stranger, the number of cattle of the Sun, giving separately the number of well-fed bulls and again the number of females according to each colour, thou wouldst not be called unskilled or ignorant of numbers, but not yet shalt thou be numbered among the wise.

But come, understand also all these conditions regarding the cattle of the Sun. When the white bulls mingled their number with the black, they stood firm, equal in depth and breadth, and the plains of Thrinacia, stretching far in all ways, were filled with their multitude. Again, when the yellow and the dappled bulls were gathered into one herd they stood in such a manner that their number, beginning from one, grew slowly greater till it completed a triangular figure, there being no bulls of other colours in their midst nor none of them lacking. If thou art able, O stranger, to find out all these things and gather them together in your mind, giving all the relations, thou shalt depart crowned with glory and knowing that thou hast been adjudged perfect in this species of wisdom."

Can you solve the first part and thereby "not be called unskilled or ignorant of numbers"?

Can you solve the second part and thereby "depart crowned with glory and knowing that thou hast been adjudged perfect in this species of wisdom"?

[Note: Part 1 is definitely doable. Part 2 is considerably more difficult.]

"To Our bed"

2009-01-31T21:29:00.000-05:00

In bed we laugh, in bed we cry,
And, born in bed, in bed we die;
The near approach a bed may show
Of human bliss to human woe.

~Dr. Johnson

Eleazar Maccabeus

2009-01-30T18:24:00.003-05:00

During the battle of Beth-zechariah, Eleazar saw a war elephant carrying special armor. Thinking that this was a sign that it carried the enemy Seleucid King Antiochus V, Eleazar decided to perform the heroic act of killing the elephant and the king. He got under the elephant and thrust his spear into its stomach. The elephant died but its dead body fell on top of Eleazar, killing him as well. It turns out that the elephant was not even carrying the king.

Here is Eleazar's wikipedia page.

The Female Stranger

2009-01-29T23:01:00.006-05:00

In the fall of 1816 a strange ship arrived at Alexandria, Virginia. Two people emerged from the vessel, a man and his wife, and walked into Gadsby's Tavern Hotel (then called City Hotel). The hotel owner's wife immediately called a doctor for the woman was clearly very ill. Despite medical attendance the woman grew sicker every day. The man then summoned the doctor, the entire hotel staff, and the owner and his wife. He asked them all an unusual request: he asked that everyone present in the room swear an oath to never reveal the man or his wife's identity. Everyone agreed and took the secret to their graves. Several days after the oath was taken the woman died. To this day the man and the woman's identities remain unknown. The man buried his wife at St. Paul's Cemetary in Alexandria, Virginia. Her gravestone has the following engraving:

"To the Memory of a
FEMALE STRANGER
whose mortal sufferings terminated
on the 14th day of October 1816
Aged 23 years and 8 months.

This stone is placed here by her disconsolate
Husband in whose arms she sighed out her
latest breath and who under God
did his utmost even to soothe the cold
dead ear of death.

How loved how valued once avails thee not
To whom related or by whom begot
A heap of dust alone remains of thee
Tis all thou art and all the proud shall be

To him gave all the Prophets witness that
through his name whosoever believeth in
him shall receive remission of sins.
Acts.10th Chap.43rd verse"

For more information please go here.

Ancient Egypt

2009-01-28T18:35:00.002-05:00

In Ancient Egypt both men and women wore make up. The colors varied but two of the more common ones were green (copper based) and black (lead based). The make up was primarily used as protection from the sun, but many believed that it had healing powers.

Some pyramid builders left behind graffiti on the pyramids they built. They wrote such things as "Friends of Kufu" and "Drunkards of Menkaure."

Some more facts can be found here.

Long Exposure Photography

2009-01-27T17:26:00.006-05:00

Here are some stunning examples of long exposure photography.

Image by Express Monorail - Exposure: 10.9 sec

Image by MumbleyJoe - Exposure: 31.9 sec

Image by Insight Imaging: John A Ryan Photography - Exposure: 30 sec

Image by Matthew Fang - Exposure: 117.4 sec

Image by MumbleyJoe - Exposure: 114 sec

For more examples go here.

"To a Capricious Friend"

2009-01-26T23:50:00.003-05:00

In all thy humors, whether grave or mellow,
Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow,
Hast so much wit, and mirth, and spleen about thee,
There is no living with thee, nor without thee.

~Joseph Addison (translation)

The Beast of Gévaudan

2009-01-25T23:08:00.006-05:00

The Beast of Gévaudan is a name given to man-eating wolf-like animals that terrorized the former province of Gévaudan (modern day département of Lozère), in the Margeride Mountains in south-central France from 1764 to 1767 over an area stretching 90 by 80 kilometres (56 mi × 50 mi). The beasts were consistently described by eyewitnesses as having formidable teeth and immense tails. Their fur had a reddish tinge, and was said to have emitted an unbearable odor. They killed their victims by tearing at their throats with their teeth. The number of victims claimed by the beasts differ according to source, however, de Beaufort (1987) estimated a toll of 210 attacks resulting in 113 deaths and 49 injuries. Ninety-eight of the victims killed were partially eaten. Author Brockis claims 25 women, 68 children, and 6 men were killed, with over 30 others injured. An enormous amount of manpower and resources was used in the hunting of the animals, including the army, conscripted civilians, several nobles and a number of royal huntsmen. All animals operated outside of ordinary wolf packs, though eyewitness accounts indicate that in some instances they were accompanied by a smaller female which did not take part in the attacks. Ultimately 2 of the beasts were killed, but none of their remains were preserved.

The Gévaudan attacks were not considered isolated events. A century earlier, similar killings occurred in 1693 at Benais, in which over 100 victims, almost all of them women and children, were claimed by a creature described as exactly resembling the Gévaudan Beasts. Four decades after the Gévaudan attacks, more attacks occurred between 1809 and 1813 in Vivarais, when at least 21 children and adolescents were killed by another beast. From 1875 to 1879, more attacks occurred in L'Indre. All these killings, including the Gévaudan attacks, seem to have occurred mostly in four year periods. Attacks by wolf-like creatures continued to be reported in France up until 1954.

These creatures have never been identified. Some think they were a kind of wolf while others think they were a punishment from God. What do you think?

Here is the wikipedia article where this information comes from.

Words of Wisdom

2009-01-24T23:56:00.004-05:00

"It is well to know something of the manners of various peoples, in order to more sanely judge our own, and that we do not think that everything against our modes is ridiculous, and against reason, as those who have seen nothing are accustomed to think."

~Rene Descartes

Words of Wisdom

2009-01-23T23:53:00.001-05:00

"I'm lost, but I'm making record time."

~Allan Lamport

Astonish Yourself

2009-01-22T21:12:00.005-05:00

The following are from Roger-Pol Droit's book Astonish Yourself! 101 Experiments in the Philosophy of Everyday Life (2003).

Call yourself
Empty a word of its meaning
Look in vain for "I"
Make the world last twenty minutes
See the stars below you
See a landscape as a stretched canvas
Lose something and not know what
Recall where you were this morning
Hurt yourself briefly
Feel eternal
Telephone at random
Rediscover your room after a journey
Drink while urinating
Make a wall between your hands
Walk in the dark
Dream of all the places in the world
Peel an apple in your head
Visualize a pile of human organs
Imagine yourself high up
Imagine your imminent death
Try to measure existence
Count to a thousand
Dread the arrival of the bus
Run in a graveyard
Play the fool
Watch a woman at her window
Invent lives for yourself
Look at people from a moving car
Follow the movement of ants
Eat a nameless substance
Watch dust in the sun
Resist tiredness
Overeat
Play the animal
Contemplate a dead bird
Come across a childhood toy
Wait while doing nothing
Try not to think
Go to the hairdresser
Shower with your eyes closed
Sleep on your front in the sun
Go to the circus
Try on clothes
Calligraphize
Light a fire in the hearth
Be aware of yourself speaking
Weep at the cinema
Meet up with friends after several years
Browse at the bookseller's
Become music
Pull out a hair
Walk in an imaginary forest
Demonstrate on your own
Stay in the hammock
Invent headlines
Listen to short-wave radio
Turn off the sound on the TV
Redisover a childhood scene that seemed larger
Get used to eating something you don't like
Fast for a while
Rant for ten minutes
Drive through a forest
Give without thinking about it
Look for a blue food
Become a saint or sinner
Recover lost memories
Watch someone sleeping
Work on a holiday
Consider humanity to be an error
Inhabit the planet of small gestures
Disconnect the phone
Smile at a stranger
Enter the space of a painting
Leave the cinema in daytime
Plunge into cold water
Seek out immutable landscapes
Listen to a recording of your voice
Tell a stranger she is beautiful
Believe in the existence of a smell
Wake up without knowing where
Descend an interminable staircase
Swallow your emotion
Fix the ephemeral
Decorate a room
Laugh at an idea
Vanish at a pavement cafe
Row on a lake in your room
Prowl at night
Become attached to an object
Sing the praises of Santa Claus
Play with a child
Encounter pure chance
Recite the telephone directory on your knees
Think about what other people are doing
Practice make-believe everywhere
Kill people in your head
Take the subway without going anywhere
Remove your watch
Put up with a chatterbox
Clean up after the party
Find the infinitesimal caress

Try doing one a day.

A Father, Mother, and Son

2009-01-21T23:16:00.002-05:00

I have been in a "puzzle mood" lately. Here is one more. This one is a bit more difficult than the last two.

The ages of a father, mother, and son add up to 70. The father is 6 times as old as the son. When the father is twice as old as the son, the combined age of the three is 140. How old is the mother?

Multiplication and Addition

2009-01-20T21:40:00.005-05:00

We all know that 2 + 2 = 4 and 2 x 2 = 4. We also know that 0 + 0 = 0 and 0 x 0 = 0. Are there any other positive numbers A and B such that A + B = A x B = C?

[As before, please do not post an answer as a comment. Feel free to email me a response. To prevent redundancy, this applies to all puzzles and problems hereafter.

~Armando]

Topsy

2009-01-19T21:03:00.004-05:00

Topsy the elephant, who performed with the Forepaugh Circus, had killed three men in three years (the last being a drunk trainer who mistreated her). Her owners, seeing her as a threat, decided that she had to be executed. After discussing several means of execution Thomas Edison suggested electrocuting her with alternating current. On January 4, 1903 Topsy was given copper-lined sandals, was covered in electrodes, and then received the current from a 6,600 volt AC source. She died in a matter of seconds. Edison captured the whole event on film and later released it under the title "Electrocuting an Elephant." On July 20, 2003 a memorial was erected for Topsy at the Coney island museum.

Here is Topsy's wikipedia page. Here is more information on the event.

A Tricky Problem

2009-01-18T21:12:00.006-05:00

Can you think of 5 odd figures that add up to 14?

[The answer will be given in a later post. No cheating please. This is for your own amusement. If you would like to give an answer you can email me. Please do not post it as a comment so that others can have the chance of solving it for themselves. Thanks.

~Armando]

Lethal Irony

2009-01-17T23:39:00.005-05:00

In 19th century England, anyone who attempted suicide and failed faced the death penalty.

"As I've Matured..."

2009-01-16T22:24:00.004-05:00

As I've Matured...
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

~Anonymous

"The Fool and the Poet"

2009-01-15T18:12:00.004-05:00

Sir, I admit your general rule,
That every poet is a fool.
But you yourself may serve to show it,
Every fool is not a poet.

~Alexander Pope

Words of Wisdom

2009-01-14T19:27:00.006-05:00

“If triangles made a god, they would give him three sides.”

~Montesquieu, Persian Letters (1721)

Snowball Sentence

2009-01-13T21:52:00.004-05:00

The following are two snowball sentences from Dmitri A. Borgmann's book Language on Vacation: An Olio of Orthographical Oddities (1965). Each word is one letter longer than the last.

"I am not very happy acting pleased whenever prominent scientists overmagnify intellectual enlightenment."

"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality, counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications' incomprehensibleness."

Can you come up with a longer one?

How Old Are You?

2009-01-12T21:18:00.006-05:00

The following set of pictures show the same 20-year-old model in different ages. Only make-up and lighting were used.

Photographers: Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin
Model: Eniko Mihalik
Fashion Editor/Stylist: Carine Roitfeld
Makeup Artist: Lisa Butler
Hair Stylist: Marc Lopez

Age 10

Age 20

Age 30

Age 40

Age 50

Age 60

~ Vogue Paris (November 2008)

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

2009-01-11T19:06:00.005-05:00

The college application process has just about ended this year. This year it will be especially difficult to receive an acceptance letter from top colleges. It is very likely that you will receive a number of rejections. If this happens, perhaps the following sample letter will come in handy (it is a modification of a rejection letter I found online). This sample contains information that would have been pertinent to me had I been in such a situation. Replace everything in italics with your appropriate information.

Dear Princeton Admissions Committee,

Thank you for your letter of April 1. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a place in the Princeton Class of 2012.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of a (very important) member of the Princeton Class of 2012 this upcoming fall. I look forward to seeing the rest of my classmates then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Armando

This is my humorous jab at a fear many students have. There isn't much I can do to help except wish all of those applying my sincerest best wishes.

Change of Plans

2009-01-10T20:16:00.002-05:00

It has been a little more than a week since I started this little blog of mine. I thought I could manage two posts per day but this is simply too much work. I have decided to lower my sights to a more realistic one post per day (starting tomorrow). I hope I manage to keep this up long enough to ultimately not consider this enterprise a waste of your time and mine. I also hope that at the very least this blog will give you a moment of amusement. Maybe even two.

~Armando

Pythagoras's Student

2009-01-10T19:55:00.005-05:00

"One story claims that a young student by the name of Hippasus was idly toying with the number √2, attempting to find the equivalent fraction. Eventually he came to realize that no such fraction existed, i.e. that √2 is an irrational number. Hippasus must have been overjoyed by his discovery, but his master was not. Pythagoras had defined the universe in terms of rational numbers, and the existence of irrational numbers brought his ideal into question. The consequence of Hippasus’ insight should have been a period of discussion and contemplation during which Pythagoras ought to have come to terms with this new source of numbers. However, Pythagoras was unwilling to accept that he was wrong, but at the same time he was unable to destroy Hippasus’ argument by the power of logic. To his eternal shame he sentenced Hippasus to death by drowning."

~ Simon Singh, from Fermat's Last Theorem (1998)

Metal Sculptures

2009-01-09T23:36:00.004-05:00

Edouard Martinet creates astonishing metal sculptures of birds, insects, frogs, and fish using material he finds in junk yards.

For more of his work go to his website.

"A Pun-gent Chapter"

2009-01-09T23:16:00.008-05:00

The bakers, being ambitious to extend their do-mains, declared that a revolution was needed, and, though not exactly bred up to arms, soon reduced their crusty masters to terms. The tailors called a council of the board to see what measures could be taken, and, looking upon the bakers as the flower of chivalry, decided to follow suit; the consequence of which was, that a cereous insurrection was lighted up among the candle-makers, which, however wick-ed it might appear in the eyes of some persons, developed traits of character not unworthy of ancient Greece.

~Theodore Hook, describing a general strike in Paris

Mighty Mary

2009-01-08T19:13:00.008-05:00

On September 12, 1916 Mary the circus elephant killed her assistant trainer Red Eldridge after he apparently poked her behind the ear with a hook as she was about to eat a watermelon rind. The locals immediately demanded her death and newspapers falsified reports that she had killed before. After receiving boycott threats, Charlie Sparks, owner of the circus Mary performed at, decided that the only reasonable way to prevent his business from failing was to publicly execute Mary. On September 13, 1916 Mary was taken to the Clinchfield Railroad yard in Erwin, Tennessee where she was to be hung from an industrial crane. The first attempt failed resulting in Mary receiving a broken hip among other grave injuries. After a thicker chain was placed around her neck she was hung again and after a few minutes Mighty Mary died. This incident remains the only known elephant hanging in history.

For more info go to Mighty Mary's wikipedia entry. For a more detailed account go here.

"Write Written Right"

2009-01-08T18:55:00.004-05:00

Write we know is written right,
When it is written write;
But when we see it written wright,
We know it is not written right:
For write, to have it written right,
Must not be written right or wright,
Nor yet should it be written rite;
But write, for so 'tis written right.

~Anonymous

Tupper's Self-Referential Formula

2009-01-07T23:15:00.016-05:00

Jeff Tupper "discovered" the following remarkable formula that when plotted under certain conditions produces the graph shown after. Go here for more information.

Tomato!

2009-01-07T23:01:00.004-05:00

An 1893 United States Supreme Court decision (Nix v. Hedden) declared the tomato a vegetable. However, this only applies when dealing with US tariffs. For all other purposes the tomato is a fruit.

Words of Wisdom

2009-01-06T19:45:00.001-05:00

"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."

~Oscar Wilde

Private Moon

2009-01-06T19:29:00.010-05:00

Russian artists Leonid Tishkov and Boris Bendikov created their own "private moon" and took the following photographs:

For more of their work, go here.

"Short Road to Wealth"

2009-01-05T19:07:00.004-05:00

I'll tell you a plan for gaining wealth,
Better than banking, trade, or leases;
Take a bank-note and fold it across,
And then you will find your money in-creases!

This wonderful plan, without danger or loss,
Keeps your cash in your hands, and with nothing to trouble it;
And every time that you fold it across,
'Tis plain as the light of the day that you double it!

~Anonymous

Creative Writing 101

2009-01-05T18:29:00.007-05:00

Kurt Vonnegut gives the following eight rules of creative writing in the preface to his book Bagombo Snuff Box (1999):

Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.
Start as close to the end as possible.
Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

He further adds, "The greatest American short story writer of my generation was Flannery O’Connor (1925-1964). She broke practically every one of my rules but the first. Great writers tend to do that."

Project Habakkuk

2009-01-05T00:14:00.008-05:00

Problem: It's WWII. Our aircraft carriers are being sunk by German U-boats. Steel and aluminium are in short supply and required for other purposes. So whaddaya do?

Solution, according to British scientist Geoffrey Pyke: Build an aircraft carrier out of ice. Not just your standard iceberg, but it's going be to made of Pykrete, which is 20% sawdust and 80% ice. Result: A virtually unsinkable ship. Call this monstrosity Project Habakkuk.

After hearing the proposal, Churchill agreed enthusiastically, at which point a small prototype was built in Canada. Then they realized the project would cost at least $100 million for the first ship, not to mention there was the problem of keeping the ship frozen while keeping the sailors warm. Eventually, they scrapped the project and went with conventional metal. The refrigeration units on the prototype were turned off, and the hull was left in Patricia Lake, where it took three hot summers to melt.

==Links==

*An article.
*Another article.
*Wikipedia article.

The Bloop

2009-01-04T20:54:00.005-05:00

In the summer of 1997, the Unites States National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) detected an ultra-low frequency underwater sound originating off the South American southwest coast. This sound, named The Bloop, was heard a number of times and was loud enough to be heard up to 3,000 miles away. Although analysis of the sound determined that it was likely biological in origin, there is no known animal capable of emitting a sound of such intensity. The animal would have to be larger than the Blue Whale, the largest animal believed to have ever existed. The source of the sound remains unknown, but some speculate that the culprit is a many tentacled giant squid while others say it is Cthulhu. What do you think?